place your (bananas) in the bag

so i was sitting on my side of the street
eating a digital peach
static dripping from my teeth
sitting, watching, thinking 

(mind on simmer, heart in hand
feet secured to street, mission:
breathe as much oxygen as possible)

Internal diagnostics complete

digital colors are just mathematical expressions
the orange man in the orange jumpsuit
looks a little blue
looks a little green
any moment now, he’s going to spew 

press one if you need a hug
press two if you need a canoe
press three if you need to pee 
 
and that’s when i saw you on your side of the street
eating an analog frog  
we play mirror cats all day long
then you yell to me: we have no peaches on this side of the street
could you text one to me?
and i yell back: just eat the fucking frog 

boo-doo-dooo i’m sorry, the number you are trying to reach doesn’t 
want to reach back, perhaps you’re boring, perhaps your breath stinks
get a life, get a breathmint, get some real friends and try again

sometimes i have i.o,t. nightmares
last night i overheard the toaster talking to the blender
about the vacuum cleaner and all that stuff we did
(last night was quite a bender, everyone toasted
good thing i have a vacuum cleaner with a non-discloser agreement
and dolphin-free disposable dirt) 

yes, i hear voices 
normally this frequency only gives me weather reports
but then lightning strikes and blam!
frankly my dear i don’t give a damn
kaboom!
mets leading reds with runners in scoring position
kablam again and
andy and opie go fishing
i thought i was going crazy
turns out i was sitting on the remote

someday, all my favorite foods will fall directly into my mouth
from a wormhole grocery store app in the sky

please place your (bananas) in the bag

someday, employers will replace all paychecks with lottery tickets
and only some of us get paid
oh wait, that’s now

place your (i can’t believe it’s not butter) in the bag

looking over my bank statements 
retracing my digital footprints
updating my oddly romantic serial number
i realize my identity is better off without me
and i need a hug

place your (hug) in the bag

and take your receipt 

and thank you sunra rainz for writing the line “just eat the fucking frog” it’s become one of my favorite expressions

posted for earthweal

Published by

phillip woodruff

i live in colorado, i love poetry and fishing, i've never been to kentucky, i own 5 pairs of shoes, sometimes i drive too fast, i like craft beer, i own 37 fishing poles, i've never been to iceland, sometimes i drive too slow, right now there is a black bird outside my window, i stare at him and he stares at me

14 thoughts on “place your (bananas) in the bag”

  1. Lighting never strikes the same place twice, so if you think so , you’re probably sitting on the remote. Lots of digital heat lightning here taking a wicked delight in the spew.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. that’s actually a true story, i took a nap on the sofa the other day, rolled over onto the remote, pressing both the volume and channel buttons at the same time, scared the hell out of me, its a terrible way to wake up =)

      Like

  2. Philip your poetry never fails to tick all my boxes. Here we get dystopia in full measure, paradox and parallel, analog and digital, all in a snow globe of cognitive dissonance that yet manages to hit the nail directly on the fruit basket. The toaster obviously knows too much, but what can you do, and how do you clean a vacuum anyway? I mean, there’s nothing there, right? This ranges from wry to sly, and everything in between–“i thought i was going crazy/
    turns out i was sitting on the remote…” seems to cover most of the insanity raging around us and even within us as our programming fragments and repeats. It’s always good to read our work, Philip. We have to feed each other with words when we run out of bananas.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thanks joy. not sure i can call this a poem yet, just a lot of riffing, playing around with various automated messages one might encounter on any average american day, it’ll be interesting to see where it goes, or if it goes

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I LOVE the voice in this, conversational, drawing the reader right in. I LOVE “just eat the fucking frog”, a line anyone would be pleased to write. Smiles. The irony about the paychecks is something I relate to. The biggest “advance” in our current reality is how diminished our incomes are, how much less it buys. An extremely enjoyable read. I love where you took it.

    Like

  4. “eating a digital peach
    static dripping from my teeth”

    That is so cool. Also this:
    “mind on simmer, heart in hand
    feet secured to street, mission:
    breathe as much oxygen as possible”
    (It kind of sounds like the peach is your own heart … i.e., eat your heart out.)

    I love the 123 list. … 3. I am always a 3. 🙂

    Get some real friends and try again. Harsh. But really good advice.

    The remote control section was funny, the lottery ticket paycheck was sad.

    My very favorite line: “updating my oddly romantic serial number” … liked the lines after that as well.

    I’m happy you’re writing and sharing poems. You are so talented.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thank you shawna

      “Get some real friends and try again. Harsh. But really good advice.” yes, advise i plan on taking, and thank you for being a great friend =)

      yeah, i’m a 3 too, but also a 1. thanks again shawna

      Like

  5. That was definitely crisp and original. I had to wonder with all appliance chatting was Alexa in the house eavesdropping? The opening line really pulled me to see where you were going. I was not disappointed. Fav line
    mind on simmer, heart in hand…I wonder if we will be able to afford anything in the future. Paychecks in the form of lottery tickets that no one wins but, the employer. ugh…

    Like

  6. Phillip, what a joy to read this! You made me laugh with the frog line! I love how you incorporated it 😀 :-D.

    This whole write is delightful, so full of mind-boggling matrix-like imagery. And somehow you manage to pack an emotional punch amidst all the dry humour. I love it, honestly. These lines are beaut:

    “eating a digital peach
    static dripping from my teeth”

    “we play mirror cats all day long
    then you yell to me: we have no peaches on this side of the street
    could you text one to me?
    and i yell back: just eat the fucking frog”

    “last night i overheard the toaster talking to the blender
    about the vacuum cleaner and all that stuff we did”

    “i thought i was going crazy
    turns out i was sitting on the remote”

    “someday, all my favorite foods will fall directly into my mouth
    from a wormhole grocery store app in the sky”

    “i realize my identity is better off without me
    and i need a hug”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. well, thank you for writing that line, even some of my friends are starting to use it ( you’re a true poet now, your words have escaped the page and are running wild in the real world, you go girl!)

      yes, it’s an interesting poemish thing, lots of riffing and flow of consciousness, i have idea where it will eventually go, glad you enjoyed it

      Liked by 1 person

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